"It is said that French will carry you over all Europe" ["Ehrenbreitstein"] [essay]
It is said that French will carry you over all Europe,
over all civilised Europeat least, and that may be,
but it will not carry you over Germany
You might manage with the Grand Turk, but
you will not manage with the Germans, a Wishing
to see the interior of Ehrenbreitstein, we got a
young German guide, and coming to a place
where two roads met considered him to be going
the wrong way. Here was a poser, how could we
stop him. Nein, Nein, we called after him. Ya, quoth
he. Nein. So he went the way we chose. After
af very hard pull, up an abominably cramp 1 hill
we behold the top of the flagstaff. Here we are, all
right. There was the fortress certainly, but between
us and it a ravine nearly a hundred feet deep walled
up the sides so as to form a very unhandsome ditch,
and two or three dozen impudent, enormous, open
mouthed guns grinning at us from the battlements.
Well, what there was nothing for it, so we went back
and took the other path. 2 This time all was right and
we got into the fortress, first however prudently
stepping up to asentinel b to ask permission, and he
brought an officer upon us. Do you speak English
Sir. A stare. Francais. A vibratory motion of the
head, and A Nein. Deutsch? Ya. and there we stuck.
Well, we pulled out our passport, but it was in
French and the officer couldnt read it So he looks
up, and down, and at him us, and we looked up,
and down and at him What was to be done.
We bowed, and he bowed, and we looked over the
battlements, with and we trotted down again, having

a very high idea of the height of German hills, the
strength of German walls, the size of German cannon,
and the stupidity of all German brains. 3